harmonious balance

Sunday Morning Message - “My sister”

Many of you know of my older sister Tami and the challenges she faces everyday. Last night I spoke to her for quite awhile. I called just to chat and before I knew it she was listening to my problems, giving me advice and bringing clarity to my perspective. Half way through the conversation I caught myself thinking; wow, I can’t believe I am sharing my little problems with her and she was the one helping me. I would not even know where to begin handling the cross that she has been given to carry and there she was undeniably clear with her message to me and I truly believe anyone that was listening would have been moved and could have related to her words and the meaning behind them. What she re-iterated to me was this one phrase that I wanted to share with you…

“One cannot control what happens; all one can do is control their reaction to what happens.”

After I got off the phone I felt so much better and yet I couldn’t believe that the worries I have seem to affect me so much and they fail in comparison to so many others including my amazing sister.

I feel blessed to have her in my life and I think about her everyday. I hope that you have someone close to you that can share his or her story with you and bring perspective into your life. We are blessed by those who have challenges greater than ours and who continue to fight the fight.

I am happy to announce “tomjdeters.com” is now up & running! Have a GREAT week! :-)

- tjd

Sunday Morning Message- “Super Bowl”

Good morning and happy Sunday. I truly hope this finds you smiling.

Two weeks ago I was busy with a project and didn’t have the time to watch or think too much bout The Super Bowl. But since then I have. Being from Minnesota, I was very excited about the Vikings getting to the playoffs. But when they lost to The Saints, I was bummed for Viking’s fans, but I was so happy for all of New Orleans. The pure joy and excitement was tangible. From the streets, to the stadium, from everyone watching to the shot of Drew Brees holding his child with headphones on. The level of happiness and pure bliss was undeniable.

No one could think of The Saints winning The Super Bowl and not remember Katrina. Which after watching plenty of post Super Bowl coverage I slowly began to grow even happier for everyone who felt anything from the affects of Katrina that The Saints won. I think we all wanted them to win; a Cinderella story and none more deserving and never a better time.

Why did Katrina have to happen? Did it have to so that they could fight, come back from it and have this amazing moment? I have learned that it is not about checks and balances. It is not about your turn, what you deserve or what you think. It is simply life and “You can’t stop what’s coming…” (No Country for Old Men) But what a great lesson it is for us all. What do we do when the bad comes? What do you do when the great comes? I think we do our best, stay close to God and truly remember what is important and be thankful for that which you have.

- tjd

Sunday Morning - “Reflection…”

When she looks in the mirror, whom does she see?

What once was and what never again shall be…

She awakens to her cross that gets heavier each and everyday,

Mobility decreasing, and yet to me she’s stronger in every way.

The path she’s walked, no one would choose,

A true test of oneself would be to walk in her shoes.

If only for a day, how clarity would return,

Knowing and believing we are blessed is all we’d yearn.

In her moment of truth, does she reflect, does she wonder why?

Or is she in that place of peace, lets it go all with one simple sigh…

Answers unknown, but the one truth I never shall forget,

She knew she was blessed and there was no sign of regret…

It was clear that she was chosen to carry that cross for all to see,

But what would we learn and to what degree?

Would we be better people or would we soon forget to remember,

Until one icy lonely day in the middle of our December…

More than most, so many questions and I know not why,

Whenever I think of her, I thank God she’s in my life and try not to cry…

To my sister…

- tjd

Sunday Morning Message - “Love…”

Good morning :-)

When I look back upon my childhood, growing up and as an adult, I have always wondered about love. When I was younger we always said it to our parents. I loved my toys. I loved my grandparents. But what did it mean when I said it? What did I feel like when I felt it? As I got older I knew there was a difference between the love you felt for your dog and the love you thought you felt for your first girlfriend. It wasn’t until I had my Rottweiler in Vegas that I truly understood unconditional love; the greatest love of all. When I was going through a difficult time, he loved me. When I wasn’t there, he loved me. When I couldn’t care for him, he loved me. On his last day, when I put him to sleep, he loved me. I realized then what true love, unconditional love really was. I have worked hard to remember the lesson he taught me and I have tried diligently to practice this type of love in my own life. I have found it is not easy, but like I have always said “Nothing of great value is ever easily attained…”

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

- 1 Corinthians 13

May you love and may you feel love today - Happy Valentines Day! ;-)

- tjd

Sunday Morning Message - “A great moment in time…”

A grand moment in my life has just happened.

2008, was one of my most challenging years, in many ways.

2009 was tougher than 2008. It challenged me beyond any imagination; my fears, failures & life challenges were boldly present.

I prayed more than I ever have. Worked out consistently. Focused on my priorities: God, Family, Career (Passion).

I continued to do my best although it felt like consistent failure.

I continued to fight the fight. Effort is always rewarded.

Walk by faith, not by sight. I tried so very hard to remember.

In December my year turned around.

It is not how you start, it is how you finish.

For six weeks I carried the heaviest stone I have had to carry. A challenge I deemed myself worthy of.

Part of the test was from the past, part the present and part the future.

This past weekend I set that stone down. My reward? Best moment ever.

Six years ago, searching for peace, I balanced a stone on the beach and took a picture of it.

There was no looking forward. I just was.

I am proud. That is not easy for me to say. But, “I am” (a tattoo I got a few years back).

Forty frames, forty found art fotos, over 200 hours. One Spa.

Just got back from Vegas.

Details & photos to follow.

Thank you for your support and for allowing me to share my path with you all ;-)

A great moment in time…

- tjd

Sunday Morning Message - “The Missing Piece…”

Good morning & I hope this Sunday morning finds you smiling ;-)

Many times I have heard statements like “If I only had this or that”, “If I could just get that job, a girlfriend, a new car, a house, then everything would be ok…” As if there is that one missing piece to the puzzle of our lives and that when we receive this, everything will be perfect. There will be no more challenges, struggles, bad days, lonely moments, sad tears, or fearful thoughts. This is simply not the case. Because there is no place of “perfection, no pain, no challenges” there is no path where life will not test you. And why it is called a test is because it happens when we do not want it to and in an area we do not want to be tested in. Peace, joy, love and faith have to be within us. It cannot be directly correlated to an external thing, object or need. Those things will come and go. May happen, may not. They may bring us momentary joy, but they may also bring that, which we did not expect. Or it might just not be what we truly wanted at all. Whatever may come may also bring something new and challenging, something that we didn’t want or didn’t see coming. It is fine too dream, wish and even want, but when we feel we “need” that is when I truly believe we have lost our perspective.

When I think of the dancers that got to dance with Michael Jackson on his final tour. “A dream come true” for any dancer, a 50-city tour with the King of Pop! All the years of dancing, all the auditioning and they finally make the dance group of dance groups. They tell all their friends, clear their calendars for the next year and firmly believe their lives will change forever. They are in rehearsal with him, dancing next to him, telling their friends and sending pic’s to everyone they know, truly believing this is the best moment in their lives. Then, before they have their first concert Michael passes. Not what they had written down. Not at all the plan they saw for themselves.

Or Conan O’Brien, dreaming of becoming the Tonight Show host his entire life and when he finally gets it after years of working extremely hard, it only lasts for 7 months. Not what he planned, not what he thought. His dream came but brought something entirely new that would challenge him in a way he could have never saw coming.

I know all the talented dancers and Conan will go on to do other amazing things because they are talented and successful. But when their dream entered their life, it didn’t turn out exactly as they had planned. The one thing they had wanted most of all, didn’t turn out exactly as planned. Which I believe is true in life for all of us. And why we have to be ok on the inside, so that we can handle life as it happens to us because there will be moments that we had not planned on that we stumble upon on our life’s journey…

- tjd

Sunday Morning Message - “A Reason, Season or a Lifetime”

“A Reason, Season or a Lifetime”

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it; it is real, but only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life.

Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime… :-)

Sunday Morning Message- “Quote from Charles Bukowski”

Good Morning J

Growing up where and how I did there seem to be a certain way to live, work and just be. I knew from an early age I didn’t quite fit into this box. One reason was that I never seemed to do the right thing in the eyes of my father. So the search began; to find that thing, my thing, to simply find me. It has been a long journey. I did not always make the best choices, nor did I always know what I was doing or even what I wanted. And those seemed to change as I got older. But, I am happy today and therefor thankful for all I went through along that journey. When I read this quote it seemed to hit home in many ways…

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you’ll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”

- Charles Bukowski

Sunday Morning Message - “From Disappointment to Joy”

Good morning & Happy Sunday :-)

I was sent a video recently and I was truly affected. Anything inspirational, I love and if it involves dogs, even better! But what hit me more than just the singular message of story was the body of text in the video and how deep the words went. It seem to relate to all of life, all of us. The title of the video was “Turning disappointment into a joyful new direction” and to me, this could be applied to everything in our lives; our relationships, our goals, our families, children and our day-to-day lives.

The body of text I took from the video and I truly believe it stands alone. I wish I could follow these words more and wish others in my life could follow them as well:

“I tried for months to “make” her something she wasn’t.

But finally had to release her from the program.

I was very disappointed.

But rather than focus on what she couldn’t do, I focused on what she could do.

When I let go of who I wanted her to be, and just let her “be” she completely flourished.

And I reveled in knowing she’s perfect just the way she is…”

To watch the video: “Surf Dog Ricochet” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGODurRfVv4

- tjd

Sunday Morning Message - “Happy New Year”

Good morning and Happy New Year!
I read this prayer from Daily Word and it began with, “Each morning there is a gift on my pillow, waiting to be unwrapped. As soon as I open my eyes I see it-a bright new day has dawned. The best thing about this gift is that I get to make it whatever I choose.” That is how I felt about the new year. No matter what happened in 2009, I made it through it. No matter how good or bad I did, what mistakes I may have made, or what tests came along my path, I made it through it all. I am still here and my reward; 2010 and the opportunity to make it whatever I want to starting with today.
So whatever you may have gone through in 2009, believe in your heart you did your best and you were successful simply because you are here, in 2010. Trust in the fact that, that knowledge, the same applied effort and faith is what will get you through whatever may cross your path in 2010.
I pray that you all had a safe and blessed Christmas and New Years!

- tjd